


Dubiously Arbitrary

by dracusfyre



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Being an adult is dubiously arbitrary, Do Asgardians celebrate birthdays?, How long is an Asgardian year?, M/M, now with a second chapter of fluff, tumblr drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 14:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14214756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracusfyre/pseuds/dracusfyre
Summary: Tony is throwing Peter an 18th birthday party. Loki doesn't get it.Until he does.





	1. Chapter 1

“What is this?” Loki asked curiously as he wandered into the living room, batting a balloon away from his face as Tony consulted a list on his tablet.

“It’s Peter’s birthday party,” Tony explained over his shoulder as he started pulling prepared platters of food out of the refrigerator.  “He’s turning eighteen on Saturday.”

“Eighteen?” Loki echoed in disbelief. “As in eighteen  _years_?”

“Of course,” Tony said, giving him a funny look as he carried the precarious stack of food over to the brightly decorated tables.  It was probably too cheesy and juvenile for an eighteen year old, but Tony had too much fun decorating to take it down now. In the corner DUM-E was clumsily trying to tape a streamer to the wall while a balloon bobbed cheerfully on his arm.

“In Asgard an eighteen-year-old would not be allowed outside their rooms without supervision.”

“Well, when you’ve got a lifespan measured in thousands of years I guess that’s not really surprising,” Tony said.  He eyed the position of the food trays and slid them closer together to make room for plates and napkins.  “On Earth he’s officially considered an adult.”

“He is an adult just because he has reached eighteen years of age? That seems…arbitrary,” Loki mused.  “I suppose humans are fully mature by then?”

That made Tony pause.  “Huh. Well, not really.  I mean, he could still grow a bit taller, and he’ll definitely put on more muscle…and most studies have shown that the human brain doesn’t reach full maturity until they are in their twenties…”  The more he thought about it, the more his frown deepened. “I’m not really sure why we decided on eighteen as the age for an adult. What do you do on Asgard?”

“There are a series of tests.  Tests of knowledge, a demonstration that they are capable of fending for themselves, skill tests to demonstrate they have some ability that will generate value for society.”

“That does make a little more sense…but then, there are a lot more humans than there are Asgardians, so it might not be very scalable.”    

“How old are you?” Loki asked with sudden suspicion.

“Um.” Tony hesitated, scratching the back of his neck. “Let’s just say I’m on the shady side of forty.”

At that, Loki made a strangled noise. “Forty.  Still a child.”

Tony pointed a plastic fork at him. “Not even close, Loki.  On Earth I am firmly middle aged.  How old are  _you_?”

“In Earth years?” Loki’s eyes got far away as he did the math.  “1,051? Or thereabouts?”

“Jesus Christ,” Tony blurted, trying to remember what humans were doing a thousand years ago.  That was like, the Dark Ages, right?  “But what does that mean, really? At forty, I’m halfway through my expected life span as a human.  What is 1,000 years to an Asgardian?”

“Well, Odin’s father Bor died when he was 5,500 years old. So about 5,000 years?”

“So relatively speaking, you’re like, twenty.” They stared at each other for a long moment before Tony finally said, “I can’t figure out which one of us would be robbing the cradle.”


	2. Ok but why

Loki reappeared after the party was over and Tony was cleaning up, leaning against the couch and watching Tony pop all of the balloons except DUM-E's.  "Does every  human celebrate their birthdays like this?"

"Oh, no, not really." Tony dumped all of the deflated balloons and their strings in the trash.  "Parties are mostly for children and important milestones. Cake?"

Loki took one glance at the half-eaten birthday cake, chocolate with white frosting and currently reading HAP BIRT PE, and the look on his face was a slow-moving avalanche of distaste. "No."

Tony shrugged and dumped it in the trash.  "I think for most people, celebrating someone's birthday is just a way to let them know that you appreciate them.  For me, I like to take the day to do stuff I normally don't let myself do, like eat too much junk food and ignore work."

Loki raised an eyebrow at that. "So you celebrate your  _own_ birthday by doing whatever you want?  You could do that any day."

Tony pointed a handful of plastic forks at Loki.  "Look, buddy, I'm not  _justifying_   the holiday, I'm explaining it.  Birthdays are the one day a year that most people allow themselves to be selfish, and that's we like them.  I'm sorry that on Asgard you guys are joyless and boring."

Loki snorted.  "Very well. When is your birthday?"

"Aw, why? Are you going to get me something?" When Loki just smirked, Tony's smile faded and was replaced with a look of suspicion. "I'm not telling you."

"You know I'll find out."

"Loki, don't-" But he was already gone. "Oh, God, what have I done?" Tony said to the empty room. 

***

Most people didn't know it, but Tony has an office on his floors in the Tower, where he could work without having to go to Stark Industries itself.  Today he'd finally gotten up the energy and interest to go in and clean it out, organizing the stack of old paperwork for filing and shredding the stuff that needed to be destroyed.  He had just taken a break to admire the fact that he could see the actual surface of his desk when he realized that he wasn't alone anymore. "Oh, hey, Loki," he said, discreetly trying to brush off weeks worth of crumbs off the surface of his desk before leaning on it nonchalantly and cross his arms over his chest. "What brings you here?"

There was a look in Loki's eyes as he came closer that made Tony's heart pound and his mouth go dry.  He tried to come up with something funny to say but words failed him as he felt Loki's hands curl around his wrists, fingertips cool as they brushed over his pulse. Loki gently pulled Tony's arms from his chest and stepped into the space instead, Tony's head tipping up automatically as he kept his gaze on Loki's. Then everything in him went still as Loki leaned down and brushed his lips over Tony's. Tony closed his eyes and felt dizzy as everything narrowed down to that fleeting contact and the places where Loki was touching him, acutely aware of the soft sound of Loki's breathing and the warmth of his body.  When Loki finally straightened, Tony exhaled in a long rush, having barely noticed that he'd been holding his breath.

"Wait!" Tony said as Loki released his arms and started to move away. "What was that for?"

"I appreciate you," Loki answered. "I was doing something I've been wanting to do for a while."

"But it's not my birthday," Tony said, puzzled.

"I know. It's  _my_ birthday."


End file.
